Goggle Week begins

For our next series, we are going to strike deep into the heart of gnomepunk: goggles. Nothing say steampunk like goggles, and nobody wears goggles like a gnome wears goggles. Across the board, the gnome is your go-to character for tinkerer, engineer, inventor, alchemist or mad scientist - and everyone knows you can't tink, engineer, invent, alchemate, or sciencize without goggles. Well, maybe you can, but you sure as heck won't look as good!

So let's kick things off right, with tough little guy who'll go upside your head off with his pipe wrench if you try messing with his sprockets.


What's that aroma I smell? It's the pungent tang of hot burning gnomepunk!

Tinkmaster Overspark is an image from the World of Warcraft Trading Card Game.

Saving the best for last

As we have traversed a week of robognomes, we have seen gnomepunk in manifestations both earnest and silly, but today's entry borders on the sublime. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you G.N.O.M.E.:
This guy is so awesome that his is the first entry with multiple pictures, to make sure you can see the sheer genius of the design. It takes the standard garden gnome template - proportions, beard, pointy hat, and all - and puts such a steampunk spin on them that the mind reels: this one starts with the goggles, and then goes up from there! Drill-bit noggin, protective helmet with ratcheting lamp, coils on the arms, riveted boots, and the crowning touch, that splendidly detailed backpack/steam vent. We are in gnomepunk heaven, and especially so because this is not a concept drawing, it's a photograph of an artifact!

Although they are hard to get a hold of because of limited distribution, G.N.O.M.E. figures (this one and a few similar) are available if you try. If one actually makes its way into gnomepunk HQ, there will certainly be a bulletin here!

G.N.O.M.E. figures are the creation of of Doktor A and are produced through RAJE Toys in the U.K.

Eponymous entry

It's not just in comical strippage that we can find gnomepunk of the robotic variety - it has even spread into illustration:

This awesome illustration has a lot going for it, not the least of which is the great typography on the title. The gnome himself may look a little catlike (to me, anyway) but he's wearing a visor, and a visor is almost as cool as goggles. And the attitude is definitely there, too, so - yeah, gnomepunk.

The ROBO-GNOME image is the property of artist Adam Atteia, and can be purchased, as a matted print or on greeting cards, through RedBubble.

'Toons with 'tude

Let's take a left turn out of CGI territory and head back into the old cartooning district for our next dose of gnomepunk. Here's a little three-panel comic strip showing how when the going gets tough, the gnomes get going - steampunk, that is:


Gears, sprockets, and steam vents galore - and one dude is even wearing goggles. Remember, even what appear to be little garden gnomes have their share of gnomepunk when pressed.

The gnomecha were conceived by Matthew Neagly and illustrated by Rochelle Simpson for Gnome Stew, the game mastering blog.

Ever again

Gnomes are a common element in MMORPGs, which are usually set in (and often mash together) the fantasy and science fiction genres (which, come to think of it, is the exact intersection than gnomepunk thrives in).

One such online world, Everquest, apparently has as one of its standard adventures a battle with CWG Gnomework Model XVII:


I didn't quite understand the gameplay talk that describes this mechanical menace ("while CLE/SHM/DRU massively heal the Main Tank (MT), and once this one has taken a big aggro hit, DPS have to use their best damaging discs") but it sounds like he kicks some serious ass. And with goggles for eyes, he definitely rocks the gnomepunk.

Tips on how to combat The Gnome Robot are discussed on the Everquest Raining Strategies blog.

Something SIM-ilar

From old-school geek to techno-geek: today's robognome comes from the world of The Sims, that computer game/lifestyle/time-suck that allows players to create simulated people and torment them in let them engage with a complex environment. Apparently a Sims player named Fernweather (or Fernweather's Sim, Maxi - I'm not really sure) was trying to build a robot dog and instead got a little gnomepunk surprise:

I don't know how can you aim at making a dog and hit creepy robognome, but it sure is boss-looking. I guess the power of gnomepunk pervades even virtual worlds.

You can see Fernweather's Evil Gnome and lots of other non-gnome Sims creations on this Sims community forum.

Start at the very beginning

You may have gathered from the entries so far that Dungeons and Dragons is a rich source of gnomepunk; we do visit the D&D well frequently here, although that is certainly not our only source. This week's theme of gnome-robots will range quite broadly, actually, but once again we are going to dip into a D&D tome, specifically an early edition of the Monster Manual:


It seems that this started off with a great gnomepunky concept and then went awry. I can't say it better than Head Injury Theater did: "The 'robot gnome' part I get. The weird V is for Vendetta fetish mask is what makes me cry at night."

What were they thinking?


Autognome is included in a wonderful retrospective of the AD&D Monster Manual done by Head Injury Theater.

Let's get steamy

This past weekend saw the Steampunk Exhibition Ball here in Seattle, so I thought I would use that as impetus to kick off a more steamy variety of gnomepunk items. Be prepared, gentle reader, for an invasion of robo-gnomes!

But before we jump into that, here's an item that fits right in with our current theme, while not specifically robotic:

Cool and steampunky, of course, with the requisite combination of wood, brass, coiled wires, and unidentifiable bits of mechanics. Now, it is obviously a wand, but this not the kind of wand some English schoolboy would use when dabbling in the Dark Arts. And this is not just a generic steampunk wand, either. It is, according to is maker, a

Gnome Steam Punk Wand 14 1/4 inches One of a Kind OOAK Vegan Friendly.

(emphasis added)

See? If being steampunk, OoaK, and vegan-friendly doesn't make your wand quite cool enough, let people know it was made by gnomes.

That's gnomepunk.

On to robots tomorrow!

I imagine you can still buy this very wand from the Secondhand Sorcery Etsy store.

Out of the deep

Let's end this week with something within the theme, but a little different:

I can't tell you much about this guy, because the website about him was in French, but here are Goggle translations of two parts of the description:

"... muscular, gnarled, wide shoulders. Large head, heavily dented forehead. Hair and beard as thick as iron filings. . Skin very dark, almost as "black as pitch." Eye at once piercing and dreamy. As a result of crosses with the bad spirits, gnomes have been changed in appearance and expression of their character...

"Gnomes had the gift of penetrating the mind of all creatures animate and inanimate..."

All I can say is terrifiant. Which is what Google told me was how to say creepy in French. But then it told me that awesome was how to say terrifiant in English. So I guess I'll just call it gnomepunk.

This terrifiant gnome can be found on Le Domaine d'Isegoris. Whatever that is.

Let me whisper in your ear

Now here's an alternative deep gnome that just rocks:

Behold, the Whisper Gnome!

Holy craps! Bat-wing spurs - boot knife - spiky crossbow - forearm quiver - belt vials - clawed gauntlet - and renaissance era goggles!

If that's not cool enough, here's a description of why Whisper Gnomes go on adventures: They seek not only to try out their powers of speed and stealth against the physical strength of larger creatures, but also to test their own moral limits.

Could this stuff be any more gnomepunk? I think not.

Whisper Gnomes are the intellectual property of Wizards of the Coast, from the Races of Stone supplement.

Back to basics

Let's clear the palate with something a little more straightforward:


Now there's a classic svirfneblin. Dark: both in complexion and in mood; brooding, even. Tough: get a load of the scar across his left eye - he didn't get that shaving. Badass: his weapon of choice is the gladius, the sword with which the Romans conquered the world - and he's got two of 'em. The spiked armor is just gravy.

Oh, yeah, deep gnomepunk.

I'm not sure of the original source of this illustration, but it appears on this Wizards of the Coast discussion forum.

Deep leapin'

Okay, I'll be completely honest with you:
I have no idea what's going on with this version of the Deep Gnome.

First of all, we've got the insectoid eyebrows going on - that's new. I think it works with the double-earrings, though.

Then we've got the studded, elbow-length fingerless gloves - that's pretty gnomepunk, as are those big straps across her abdomen and the shoulder- and belt-pouches. So far, so cool.

But what's with the O-ring halter-top and the bell-bottoms? Is this disco-gnome?

I'm just gonna tell myself she stole that outfit after being caught naked except for her gloves.

Otherwise, I got nothin'.

Apparently, illustrator Jeremy McHugh was just following orders when he created this Golarion gnome for the Pathfinder RPG. He really does fine work, all kidding aside.

Shroom for one more

Here's a different take on the deep gnome:

Now at first glance this guy looks pretty cute, sort like our pal the 4.0 gnome, and you might think he's totally tiny, since he's standing behind a mushroom. But look more closely, and the gnomepunk reveals itself: dig the plating and the pouches on that jumpsuit he's rocking - it's more like a cold-war-era pilot's pressure suit than it is tunic and leggings. And look at his eyes - he's not a tiny gnome, that's a giant mushroom. And he just did one the same size.

Mushroom Deep Gnome is from the exhaustive mythology recorded in the El-Hazard Chronicles.

Upper and lower

Here's our first rendition of deep gnomes, just to get us oriented:

The blond dude topside is a regular ol' gnome, which means he's just mainstream awesome. Look at him: taking on two lizard-guys, and leaving his sword sheathed - so he can blast them with some sort of raygun! (It must be a raygun because there isn't enough detail in the hammer assembly for it to be the more era-appropriate flintlock or matchlock it resembles.) How gnomepunk is that?!

The darker gal hurdling those rocks on the underside of the hill is our svirfneblin. Check her out: spiky haircut, armored bracer, and what looks like a Utilikilt, about to lay the kibosh on two unsuspecting lizard-guys with a nasty axe.

Deep gnomes are not just punk, they're harsh.

This depiction of gnomes is from the Anphillia Forgotten Realms forum.

Going deep

The aesthetic sensibilities of gnomepunk aside, it isn't always necessary to wear goggles in order to be a badass gnome. Take this dude, for example:


Nothing says "don't mess with me" louder than taking out an ogre with your recurve bow and then calmly roasting a bowl while leaning on his corpse. How gnomepunk is that? Man, I'll bet nobody makes fun of this guy's hat twice.

This week we'll be looking at a group of gnomes sans goggles who can nonetheless bring the hurt and the spooky at the same time: deep gnomes, or svirfneblin. While few gnomes could match today's featured player for sheer audacity, the deep gnomes are pretty cool, too.

"Kickass Gnome" is a work of DeviantArt by Firecrow.

I called my mom...

So, as news of the perfidy of D&D 4.0 -- that gnomes were being demoted from a player race to a monster race -- spread across the intarwebs, gnomepunk resistance started growing (see t-shirt in the previous entry). In an effort to explain or justify their decision, the Powers That Be at D&D released the following short film as part of their PR campaign leading up to the release of the new edition.



Clearly an attempt to trivialize and belittle the mighty gnome, this nefarious scheme doesn't work. First of all, our boy comes across as much more appealing than the bitchy Tiefling with whom he shares the stage. And secondly, this guys is so cool he doesn't need goggles - his eyes are goggles! How gnomepunk is that?!

The propaganda plan backfired and the fourth edition gnome became a YouTube sensation. Even now, more than three years after his initial appearance -- a lifetime on the internet -- a Google video search for simply "gnome" puts this clip on the first page of hits. The little guy became a fan favorite, and the clamor did not die down until the release of the Player's Handbook 2 in March 2009, which restored gnomes as one of the player races.

As we have been saying: don't mess with the gnome.

The YouTube channel for WizardsDnD is here.

Is this the end of gnomes?

Above is the image of a clearly gnomepunk young woman modeling a protest t-shirt from Zazzle, an online print-to-order store. She is protesting the loss of gnomes, punk or otherwise, from the fourth edition of D&D.

You see, after some development and evolution, D&D settled in for many years (in the 3rd edition and what was called version 3.5) with seven primary races available to players: humans, elves, dwarfs, halflings (hobbits), half-elves, half-orcs, and those most awesome of peoples, gnomes. It was a fine arrangement, but in June 2008 that all changed.

D&D 4.0 arrived in stores, and in the core rulebooks the new, hip core races were Dragonborn (kinda half-person, half-dragon); Dwarf; three kinds of elf: Eladrin, Elf, and Half-Elf; Halfling (not much like hobbits anymore); Human, and Tiefling (kinda half-person, half-demon). Not a gnome in sight, and no goggles, either. Is that a coincidence? I think not.

In one fell swoop, D&D eradicated all gnomepunk and any sense of steampunk from their aesthetic, replacing it with extreme medieval! -- sort of like what Gladiator and the new Clash of the Titans did to classic age adventure.

To add insult to injury, gnome was an entry in the Monster Manual - the core rulebook that lists statistics for goblins, orcs, troglodytes, and other nasty creatures.

But even at this low ebb for gnomepunk, a resistance was forming, and a new icon rose to take the place of the legendary Nebin. We'll meet him tomorrow.

Gnomish Sorcerers Against Change Shirt, as well as lots of other cool stuff, available from Zazzle.com.

Nebin 5: The End of Nebin

Well, I wish we could end the week on a more uplifting note, but I'm afraid I have discovered some sad news:

Yes, that's our friend Nebin there: the hand-guard, pointy boots, and goggles (albeit symmetrical ones) mark him as our gnomepunk pal immediately, even upside down. This is, I guess, the last look anyone got of Nebin. Apparently, after years of service, in the supplemental book Dungeonscape (2007), Nebin lost his iconic status and was demoted to, um, dearly departed and has not been seen in new illustrations since then. But at least he was gnomepunk till the end.

Nebin's demise was likely just part of the anti-gnome conspiracy growing behind the scenes in D&D - but more on that tomorrow.

The End of Nebin was discussed on RPG.net, a discussion forum for roleplaying games.

Nebin 4: Miniature 2

Somewhere along the line, Nebin got a little bit of a makeover, at least as far as the miniature was concerned:

I like a few things about this. The goggles become even more awesome and prominent, so yay. And his staff now has almost an art-deco, nineteen-thirties feel to it, which is totally anachronistic but way cool. And yet, his clothes seem to have reverted to a more generic cloak and trousers, and his boots have lost most of their pizazz, looking more like a farmer's wellies. I'd have to say the gnomepunk quotient has gone down overall.

If only he hadn't lost the map tube...

Unpainted Nebin, Male Gnome Wizard miniature available in Blister Packs from Wizards of the Coast.

Nebin 3: Miniature 1

As any of my roleplaying buddies will tell you, I'm all about the minis. Some people use tokens; some people use random figures; I like to use minis that represent the characters on the board with at least thematic consistency if not total accuracy. So of course, given that most of my characters have some degree of gnomepunk to them, I can usually just play with this classic Nebin miniature:


The goggles come off a little bit like a mask, and some of the punky details are missing, but when you're playing a gnomepunk tinker it's a lot better than using some dwarf with an axe, that's for sure.

Pre-painted plastic Nebin miniature available from Harbinger Minis through Gold Dragon Horde.

Nebin 2: Interpretive art

I like this sketch of Nebin so much I once stole it to use as the character illustration for Galen Straphammer, Urban Druid in a Ptolus campaign. Now there was a pure gnomepunk character. Anyway, I like this image because since Nebin is in repose, as it were, you can see the punkish details of his gear even more clearly: the one flat and one pointy lens on the goggles, the protective plates and quilting of his coat and vest, and so on.

I don't know why I dig that map tube so much.

This sketch of Nebin was used for the character of Tefwil, a gnome rogue/illusionist in a campaign of The Arcane Army chronicled on this website.

gnomepunk classic

We are going to devote this week to the one iconic character from D&D who definitely brings the gnomepunk.

Most of D&D carries with it a sort of Lord of the Rings vibe, set as it is in a vaguely middle-ages, quasi-European-flavored world, with Tolkeinesque influences evident in the sensibilities portrayed in most of the cultures - human, elf, dwarf, and halfling (hobbit). This aesthetic has slowly been chipped away over the years, as the player base of D&D has continually broadened from just middle-aged white medievalist wargamers to include lots of folks of all different stripes. Gnomes are one of the races that have strayed away from the Tolkein source material, allowing for new, cool interpretations.

Nebin, the Gnome Illusionist, appearing in the Player's Handbook as a paradigmatic character, is the most prominent figure to take D&D right into gnomepunk:

This is the classic image of Nebin, which can be found on page 57 of the Player's Handbook. With that Inverness cape and those boots, he's already a lot closer to high renaissance than the middle ages, but get a load of the accessories: a gratuitous hand-guard laced onto his left hand, an inner coat with lots of utility pockets, and cool map tubes. He's rocking a soul-patch/goatee and one earring, and the crowning touch is, of course, the goggles. And they're not just any goggles: these are asymmetrically-lensed goggles, the height of steampunky ocular fashion.

So here's to Nebin, the Dean of D&D gnomepunk! The rest of this week will feature various images of Nebin from different sources.

Nebin is the intellectual property of Wizards of the Coast, publishers of the world's most popular role-playing game. Dungeons & Dragons Player's Handbook Core Rulebook I v.3.5 published in 2003.

Found: Fez's goggles. Good going, Ginfritter!

Yesterday's gnome seemed cranky without his goggles - perhaps this badass stole them!

This fellow represents our first instance of the co-opting of traditional garden gnome iconography into gnomepunk, but it won't be the last time we visit that theme. Even besides having stolen Fez's goggles and waving a nasty-looking dagger around, this guy just oozes gnomepunk. Check out this excerpt from his bio: Ginfritter the Gnome Illusionist Thief. When Ginfritter was young he was quite the adventurer. Using his skills to astound and befuddle his opponents, he was able to make his fortune and retire to his workshop to tinker. Deceiving, thieving, adventuring, and tinkering: if that ain't gnomepunk, I don't know what is.

Ginfritter the Gnome Illusionist Thief is available from Armorcast Battlefield Scenery.

I can't remember your name, but your fez is familiar

If we were to lists the artifacts of steampunk, we would probably start the list with goggles, and dirigibles would be high on it, and somewhere on that top tier might also be the fez. This Turkish cap, present throughout the 19th century, was a symbol of Ottoman modernity and became associated with Western orientalism, two currents that flow right into the river of steampunk.

So, if you give a gnome a fez - that's certainly gnomepunk.


Looks a bit ill-tempered, doesn't he? Maybe that's because he lost his goggles.

Fez the Gnomish Pirate is available from Armorcast Battlefield Scenery.

The Declaration

So, we have managed to fill an entire week with just a taste of the awesomeness that is gnomepunk. I will continue to post an image a day for as long as I can; I have been marshaling my resources and staging my sequencing, so we may see some patterns instead of randomness. You never, know though - with gnomepunk, you should always expect to be surprised.

And you should always expect goggles.

gnomepunk graffito kiped from a series of really nice diner pictures on Smitten's Flickr Photostream,

Literary Asprirations

Besides D&D, other milieux feature gnomes as well. Perhaps the next mostly closest related genre is the online Role-Playing Game (RPG), sometimes Massively Multiplayer Online (MMORPG). One group of online players, calling themselves We Are The Creatures of Fantasy, purports to be a "semi-literate rp concerning [...] fantasy creatures." Their online recruitment board and description of various characters such as centaurs, elves, fairies, and, of course, gnomes, is replete with references to Greek and Germanic mythology and the origins of these creatures in folklore. And according to these semi-literate scholars, what does a gnome look like? This:


Goggles.

Of course.

You can visit We Are The Creatures of Fantasy at Gaia Online.

Historical aside

Let's grant some legitimacy to this endeavor, shall we? It's not just me who thinks that gnomes rock: they made the list of Top Ten Legendary Monsters, Creatures, and Mythological Species. Among the gnomes' attributes are listed their "small size and subterranean lifestyle," and a clear distinction is made between them and goblins or dwarfs, but somehow their capacity for total badassery goes unmentioned. This lapse is doubly surprising given the image that accompanies the article:


Look at that - are those some kind of mythological goggles or what?

The top ten list and this killer gnome image found at best0f.com, a website which apparently does this sort of thing.

Now we're talking

Okay, let's get down to it: from some kick-ass D&D gnomes to some pure steampunk:

This "gnome pilot" appears to be striding purposefully toward his dirigible, goggles poised on his helmet, tools stowed in their holsters, parachute on. As an added bonus, he's wearing man-prees and crocs - how fashion forward! Look at that face: this guy is ready to patch an aircell as easily as he does his shirt, to pound a misshapen support back into position, or to firebomb a nest of gnome-eating nasties.

Do not mess with the gnome, man.

Gnome pilot concept art from freelance artist Rick Rivera's online portfolio. Talented guy - even for stuff that isn't gnomes!

Let's go!

Since we started this off with a D&D story, let's stay with the genre for just a bit:


This guy may not have much steam, but he's sure got the punk down. No frail, shy garden gnome here: this sort-of armored-cloak guy is either going to wallop you with some magic from that cool staff in his right hand, or rip you up with the clawed gauntlet on his left hand, or do something else nasty with that... pointy-glowy thing that's kinda... floating by his left side. Never mind that, the point is that if you mess with this gnome, you are entering a whole new world of pain.

He's so gnomepunk he doesn't even need goggles.

Gnome motivation poster is a meme I have seen around. I don't know the original source; feel free to let me know.

Ignatz Screamrivet; or, I was gnomepunk before gnomepunk was cool

So there we were, three parageeks*, rolling up characters for a new D&D campaign set in Ptolus. We knew our DM liked dark and foreboding settings and situations, and the others were responding accordingly. Big J was creating a roguish wizard, a petty criminal who had entered onto the path of arcane magic as a result of his theft of artifacts of great power. Little J was building a ill-tempered cleric of the god of war, wont to wave his fiery sword first and ask questions later. I played along, and for a while was moving nicely on an agile fighter, a skull-masked cultist and master of the spiked chain, a particularly nasty weapon.

Then I saw that the Ptolus player's guide allowed for a variant armor that was basically a leather overcoat. All bets were off, and I let the current of steampunk that runs through the Ptolus material carry me away.

Gone was the skull-faced warrior Ghast R'dere; in his place was gnome bard, Ignatz Screamrivet. Ignatz wore a Leather Greatcoat (+4 AC) and Goggles of Dexterity (+2). His specialty was ranged attacks with his Enhanced Mighty Powered Shortbow, a homemade souped-up version of the steampunk compound bow allowed in the player's guide; his only melee weapon was a Masterwork Sap. To channel his bardic magic, he strummed his ukulele. With his mule Agnetha, he would be a force to be reckoned with: total gnomepunk.

Sadly, that Ptolus campaign foundered when the DM moved out of town, and Ignatz was never able to truly come into his own as a PC. I am happy that he has found a new home as the patron saint of this blog, as he embodies the very spirit of gnomepunk: a little guy, technologically anachronistic and defiantly unconventional, who kicks ass.

While wearing goggles.

D&D Character sheet created using PCGen. You should check it out.

*Parageeks are gamers, comic book fans, or otherwise nerdly types
who nonetheless have jobs and romantic relationships and don't live in someone's basement .

Happy New Year!

Little gnome punk created with GamEdition Avatar Creator.